What brings you in to therapy?  What story are you telling yourself?  Have you considered the mind/body connection in relation to that story?  Could you say it is a mind/body conflict that’s driving you to seek help?

You may, in a sense, be under siege by your own mind.  Your mind may have created a sort of abyss, making up a story or case against your “self.”  Accompanying feelings may then arise in the body as a physical reaction, fueling the negative thoughts and deepening the abyss.

The mind creates the abyss, the heart crosses it.

— Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

But if you remember, as you face the abyss, to let go of the thoughts in the mind and ask: “Where am I feeling this in my body?” you can be saved from falling in to the abyss.  With practice, the mind/body connection can be more quickly acknowledged, calming the physical reaction (body) and helping you to safely cross over the abyss, back into peace of mind.

I like to phrase the process in short as “losing your mind and coming to you senses.”

A problem story accentuates the negative and eliminates the positive, and through that process the abyss is created by your mind.  With the help of a collaborator — focusing on your strengths, reconnecting with the lovable parts of yourself which you have hidden away or forgotten — the heart is empowered to help the mind and body reunite.

Through this practice of acknowledging the mind/body connection and more quickly crossing the abyss between the two, we are able to minimize the problem story. In exchange we accentuate the stronger, more positive aspects of our story, feeling more at ease in the body, with better access to the love that lives in all of us!

I have spent the last week filled with the joy of inspiration driven by two disparate sources delivering arguably the same message. Father Boyle says we’re all nobly born and born wanting the same things. Dan Siegel says we are all born with the same plane of possibility. Father Boyle says there is a false idea out there that some people are lesser than others. Dan Siegel says that the idea of separate self results from an outdated social construct that still dominates our culture, which needs to be replaced by acknowledging our sameness with all life. Both Seigel and Boyle encourage us to embrace love and joy for ourselves and all existence.

Dan Siegel, among his other scientific endeavors, is the founder and director of The Mindsight Institute at UCLA. A scientist inspired in recent years by mindfulness meditation, Siegel has created the Wheel of Awareness guided mindfulness meditation. Siegel envisions science and spirituality merging as one.

Father Boyle is the founder of Homeboy Industries and began working with gang members 30 years ago in the toughest part of LA. He began by riding his bicycle around “the hood” and inviting waring gang members to learn a better way. His stories of love and respect and win-win results brought me to the brink of tears over and over. “I did not have to carry the burden they did” he repeats.

Both Boyle and Siegel say the demonizing is the enemy.

Both Siegel and Boyle help people face their fears that keep them from being able to fall apart. Siegel says we often need to “go to pieces” in order to heal trauma and find peace. Boyle says a “healed” gang member does not return to jail. Peace is our ground of being – the same ground on which we all enter the world – the ground of pure potential.

Dan Seigel says it is the false concept of self that allows us to trash the world and that must change. Father Boyle says we must realize that we belong to each other!

I say amen!

In this TED talk Psychologist Susan artfully discusses the values and ways of developing “emotional agility”. I was inspired by the beautiful articulation of her philosophy, which is parallel to my point of view in collaborating with clients to fine-tune their relationships with their emotions in ways that lead to lives that fulfill their hopes and dreams. Enjoy!

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”
— Henry David Thoreau.

Communication – a lack thereof and desire for – is the one of the most common reasons people seek therapy.  Communication, for one, involves talking and listening, which we often think of as a mind skill.  But it is more than that.  Listening involves the mind and the body; thinking and feeling.

Truly “attending” to an answer may require more than just basic listening. An exercise or tool to improve communication often taught in therapy is called “active listening”. You listen with the intent of hearing and then say back what you heard (correcting if necessary) until the other person feels authentically and accurately heard.  Then you switch.

But the real key to resolving issues is to go beyond listening and hearing, into understanding. Through active listening, you broaden the lens of perception and pave the way to understanding.   Understanding involves thinking (the hearing part) and feeling.  The two elements operate in conjunction — thinking is often, if not always, driven by feelings. Feelings inform thoughts which inform feelings, which inform thoughts, and so on.

So, the mind (thinking) and body (feeling) are connected.  But, while engaging in dialogue — focusing on the words — we often unconsciously forget about the body/feeling part.  We override or ignore those feelings.  Listening is an auditory skill, but the kind of listening we really crave involves all the senses, including feelings.  So as you tune in to the words, try to remember to tune into the feelings behind them, too – this is where the true connections can be found.

Yes, listen. But practice listening beyond the auditory component – and not just in your closest relationships, but with everyone.  Each verbal encounter with another is  a mini relationship; a chance to practice this incredibly valuable skill.  Tuning into this mind/body connection can, and most probably will, help you to become a more skillful communicator.  If we could all be mindful of this in our every interaction, the effects would undoubtedly be far reaching and profound.

Ellen McCarthy is the author of The Real Thing: Lessons on Love and Life From a Wedding Reporter’s Notebook.  It covers the advice she gathered from more than 200 couples, the weddings she attended and the experts she met on the beat at the Washington Post over four years. McCarthy joins “CBS This Morning” to discuss what she learned.

Who is in charge you or your emotions?
Would you like to trade places so that you are in charge?

Our language identifies us with our emotions — “I am depressed”, or “He is always scared”, or “She seems to be such an angry person” — we speak as though the person is the problem.

YOU are not the problem. The PROBLEM is the problem.

Perhaps you have developed a “story” in which your “problem emotion” rules. In other words, your emotion has become bigger than you, which can feel overwhelming. If you feel uncomfortable enough to seek change (it’s important you desire the change you seek) — if you would like to create a new narrative where you are in charge of your emotions — therapy might help you make that change.

The process of therapy would be to first separate you from the problem emotion. You might tell me the story of the problem, such as when anger, depression, or stress, first showed up in your life. Once we identify the problem as, for example, anger, questions might be: “What is anger getting you to do? How does anger make you feel? Is that what you want? Is this working for you?”

I am your facilitator, collaborator, assistant director. Together we examine your relationship to the problem. For example, “Anger gets me in trouble and I do not like that.” We explore your strengths, resources, and successes. We find new possibilities. We co-create a new, preferred story, putting you back in charge.

Just after I posted my latest blog, I received an email from Nick Ortner, with a link to a video.  Nick and his sister Jessica Ortner are the founders and owners of The Tapping Solution.  The video shows Jessica’s interview of Congressman Tim Ryan about his new book, Mindful Nation, plus exciting and encouraging news about attempts to engage the congressmen and women co-workers in some mindful moments.

Tapping is an effective tool for emotional and physical balancing, which I use on myself and in my practice.  I would like to hear what you think when you explore the above resources.

Years ago I learned that different people experiencing similar body sensations respond in totally different ways.  The speaker (I cannot remember for sure who) told a story about Carly Simon and Bruce Springsteen, two great singer-songwriter-musicians, getting ready to perform. Both would feel sweaty palms, rapid breathing, and tightening, especially in the stomach and chest.  Carly would fear she was having a “panic attack” and not be able to go on.  Bruce would feel stoked and ready!”

We can embrace, welcome, allow, and use sensations in our bodies to enhance the lives of others and ourselves.  Watch the following TED Talk from Psychologist Kelly McGonigal for some great tips on how to make these conversions…

Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend

Stress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to see stress as a positive, and introduces us to an unsung mechanism for stress reduction: reaching out to others.

Kelly McGonigal translates academic research into practical strategies for health, happiness and personal success. Full bio »

Popularized by the Beatles, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi brought Transcendental Meditation to the USA in the mid 60s and started a meditation revolution. I was in a fortunate position and received my mantra from the Maharishi in a room alone with him at the Plaza Hotel.  The instruction was to keep your mantra secret.  It was designed especially for you.  And you were to meditate for 20 minutes,  twice a day.  The effects were immediately apparent. I have never since questioned the value of meditation. But to develop a consistent practice is an ongoing pursuit.

In 1986 I learned Vipassana, the basis for Mindfulness practices, and have practiced that form of meditation predominately.  Also I use various sound tracks, guided meditations and hypnosis.  Recently I had a desire to return to my mantra and enjoyed simplicity and ease in my practice.  The following two introductions to mantra meditation will give you a good idea about meditation, and introduce a universal, easy to use mantra, “So Hum”.  But there are thousands of other mantras out there – find one that suits you best, or create your own!  As with any practice, the main goal is to do it!  So, for your support:

1. Instructions on the “So Hum” meditation, from Deepak Chopra.  Try using music to accompany your practice!
“So Hum” meditation instructions, from Deepak Chopra »

2. Shiva Rae, in Yoga Journal, imparts wise words about meditation and uses the same, “So Hum” Mantra:
Read A Higher Hum: Breath and Mantra Meditation at YogaJournal.com »

I hope you will enjoy and use these as guides.  And, I would love to hear about your experiences.

Michael Phelps and his coach, Bob Bowman, attribute 22 Olympic gold medals to psychological, as well as physical training.

In an interview, Bowman says “I’d never seen him clutch.  He has developed a mental file cabinet of what to do in every situation … I’ve never seen him be discouraged by anything.”

Click here for the Washington Post Video

“He’s the best I’ve ever seen and maybe the best ever in terms of visualization.
He will see it exactly the perfect race.  And he will see it like he’s sitting in the stands, and he’ll see it like he’s in the water.  Then he will go through scenarios – What if things don’t go well? … He’s programmed his nervous system.”

NOTE: If you’re not good at visualizing, then try to imagine; remember sounds; feel the feelings stirred in your body; hear the words people will say; what you will say.

You can use this model for success in your own personal Olympics, with a profession psychotherapist or on you own.

With your coach or therapist you can:

1. Look at the “problem story” from different points of view (every story could be told at least 5 other ways).
2. Clarify what you would like to have happen. What is your intention?
   How will you know if your therapy has succeeded?
3. Develop practices that you can do on your own.
4. Role-play situations that are problematic. Prepare to respond, rather than react.
5. Move from being the victim of circumstances to an empowered position of choice.

You will develop:

• Confidence that you will know what to do when the time comes.
• Mental processes for handling the unforeseen.
• Freedom to focus on what you would do, rather than worrying about what might do you in.
• Freedom to focus on the task at hand.  For Michael Phelps that is swimming; for you it is the action necessary to fulfill your dreams.

Remember to practice, practice, practice. Practice every day, mentally and physically. And, congratulate yourself on even small victories.  Say to yourself, “You did it!”  Experience the feelings that go with success.

Recently, I was at a year-end meeting of the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) Adult Education Division, in which I am credentialed.  I was reminded, by inspiring words from retiring teachers, of my experience counseling children directly, teaching parenting, consulting with teachers and supervising Marriage Family Therapist Interns who counseled kids at the schools.

One teacher brought in to focus that everyone is a child and/or a parent.  The child/parent relationship is so central to all relationships. You might ask yourself to describe a favorite teacher.  What qualities would describe the best teacher?  You are your child’s first teacher.

Children, I find, are very responsive and resilient, one-on-one.  The way I work is strength-based.  Often I begin a session by asking, “What do you do best?” or, “I hear you are a good cheerleader”, because children recommended for therapy by schools and by parents are often defined by the problem.  They are the problem.  The same is true of many who seek therapy.  It is as though we have been swallowed up by the problem in an emotional take over. The person is not the problem.  The problem is the problem.  Together we examine the problem and the child’s relationship to it.  Some questions I ask are, “How is the way you are acting working for you? Is that what you want to have happen?  What would you like to have happen?  What are some other possibilities?  How is the problem influencing the family and other relationships?”

Imagine a rope made of red, white and pink threads.  From a distance the rope looks pink.  As you come closer and closer the colors begin to separate from each other, and become clearly red, or white, or pink.  The process of therapy clarifies thinking and increases mindful, conscious awareness and the ability to mange emotions.

Children often pretend, for example, that anger is a monster.  At first the monster is in charge of the child.  Then they create solutions, such as smashing the anger and vacuuming up all the pieces, or imaging a big red stop sign, as the body signals anger approaching.   The child takes charge of the problem, instead of visa versa.  Parents, teachers, client and therapist collaborate as a team to make life happier and more productive for everyone involved.

How or what are you feeling now? Right now notice your posture.  Is your back straight, your heart held high?  Or are your shoulders rounded, your body forming the letter C?

Right now change position.  Stand up, reach both arms as high in to the air as possible and say, “YES!” depending where you are right now of course.

Respecting that in this moment for emotional and physical reasons this may be inappropriate or impractical for you, generally speaking you will feel better instantly.  Why?  Emotion follows motion.   Our minds influence our bodies, and conversely our bodies effect our minds.  Besides lifting your spirit, standing or sitting tall helps you “breathe easy” and is good for the functioning of the internal organs.

When I was very young, I studied dance with the famous Martha Graham.  She told us to walk down the street (this was in New York City) and say hello to people with our words, but mainly with our body language.  To this day I try to remember, even when I’m walking around at home, to pull my self up tall, shoulders pressed down and back a little, prompting myself with the words: hold your heart high.  Often a little smile will automatically follow.  People actually say hello to me as I pass them on the street right here in L. A.  “Do I know that person?” I say to myself.  In this way each of us has a brighter day.  If you are used to a bit of a slouch, this may feel weird at first, but it is worth getting used to.

This little exercise may not be all that you need to heal your grief, diminish your mental or physical pain, and improve your communication skills.  However, minimally, you will feel better now!

I wonder if you, as I did, believe that the difference between mindfulness meditation and hypnosis is that you are “in charge” during the mindfulness process, while the hypnotist is in charge during hypnosis?

In the 80s I studied and practiced Vipassana, an early form of Buddhist meditation, which began to inform my work as a therapist.  I then watched in awe as the techniques of Vipassana, became know as “mindfulness” and spread in to practically every area of psychotherapy.

Now I use both hypnosis and mindfulness personally and in my practice. As I enthusiastically study Mindfulness and Hypnosis The Power of Suggestion to Transform Experience, by Michael Yapko, I realize how much guided mindfulness meditation (GMM) and hypnosis have in common.

Yapko, (p. 25): I hope clinicians who have embraced mindfulness discover that mindfulness approaches are more strongly related to patterns and dynamics of hypnosis than they may have realized. Mindfulness works; hypnosis works; and it is the task of the clinicians to ask the penetrating questions about how they work, for whom and under what conditions.

Both mindfulness and hypnosis are tools of the therapeutic process, adaptable to a wide variety of therapeutic approaches, which are designed to help clients transform themselves in relation to the range of emotionally based mental and physical issues that they bring to therapy.

While I am finding every word in the book informative and inspiring, I think the important take away message is exemplified in the following (p. 169):

Both mindfulness and hypnosis are clear that acceptance has to precede change, but in hypnosis a well-defined therapeutic target lies one step beyond acceptance. In hypnosis, there is an implicit or explicit suggestion to do something.

Are you going to encourage clients who come to therapy with a goal (a hope, a wish, a desired outcome) in mind to “just be” and lead them to believe that by “just being” they will resolve their problems? …. Alternatively, will you retain the essence of the message about the merits of focusing, meditating, and “just being” while encouraging clients to actively evolve specific skills for problem solving? The skill might even be to learn that some problems cannot be solved and the message to “accept and just be” is perfect.

The consciousness that mindfulness can be a tool for acceptance and a precursor to action, or just a tool for awareness, is an important distinction for clients to know, and for both therapist and client to discuss in order to facilitate a positive therapeutic outcome.

Note regarding professional requirements:  You do not need to be a licensed therapist to practice mindfulness or hypnosis.  There are associations such as Southern California Society for Clinical Hypnosis, a Los Angeles chapter of American Association of Clinical Hypnosis, which train licensed professionals who have ethical qualifications to really support the client.  Two years of intensive training is required for full membership and credential.

Talk at Google Headquarters

In 1979 Jon Kabat-Zinn founded the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Clinic, at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, to help patients cope with pain, illness and anxiety. In 1995 he founded the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society, also at UMMS.

In 2007 Kabat-Zinn gave the following talk to a group of employees at Google Headquarters.  The talk aims to demystify the practice of mindfulness and its incorporation in to daily living.  If you don’t want to listen to the whole talk, you can skip ahead to the “formal meditation” (from about 24min. to 46min, in the video). Notice the use of metaphor and suggestion, as in hypnosis. If you have the curiosity, the time, and you’re looking for creative stimulation, I think you’ll enjoy the whole talk.

Whether you are a “seasoned” or beginning meditator, or simply want to understand mindfulness (conscious awareness in the present moment), the following is illumination from Jon Kabat-Zinn, a scientist, writer and master teacher of meditation.

We are all mindful some of the time.  Where do you experience mindfulness in your life?  How or when have you harnessed its power?  Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

Tony Robbins is endorsed by a variety of leaders in many different fields and has been a motivator and teacher from whom I have drawn inspiration for  decades. Over the years I have used lessons and drawn inspiration from Tony in presentations to teachers, the public, in my practice as a therapist, and in my life.

Cloé Madanes is a world-renowned innovator and teacher of family and brief therapy and one of the originators of the strategic approach to family therapy.

Now Tony Robbins and Chloe Madanes have created The Robbins-Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention. Together they have made a series of videos demonstrating examples of their transformational work with people from different walks of life.

Last night I watched one of the Robbins-Madanes videos in which Tony brings a man from almost suicidal despair to a place from which he can and does recreate a new successful life. The video has all the elements of an engaging short movie, and builds to a crescendo of good feelings. Additionally, you’re invited to participate in a life changing exercise, which I found uplifting an inspiring.

Click here or on the video image above to watch this inspiring, interactive Robbins-Madanes video (77 min).

Enjoy!  And please feel free to comment below — I’d love to hear what you think!

Through the therapeutic lens…

You may have heard that the conscious mind is only the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface of the water is the subconscious, the submarine, where all of our programmed activity is going on.  Without being at all scientific, we have the autonomic nervous system taking care of basic body functions such as breathing, and we have all the lessons we have learned so well that we can perform them without much thought, such as brushing our teeth, or driving a car.

Relative to the subconscious, the conscious mind holds little information at any given moment in time.  If you are a professional basketball player, for example, you can consciously tell yourself to simply focus on the basket and a myriad of complex, subconscious  signals are sent to all parts of your mind/body to actually get the ball to the net.  You’ve consciously practiced for thousands of hours so that, by the time you’re in the “real” game, those actions and reactions have become subconscious.

Have you ever been getting ready to go out to a party, or work, or an event, when thoughts are running through your mind and suddenly you have an “ah ha” revelation about yourself that seems enlightening?  What has happened is your mind has slowed way down, and is focusing on how you are putting on your eye make up, or shaving.  You are in a meditative state, a lower number of cycles per second of brain wave activity, allowing a new point of view to float up into the conscious mind.

Conversely, anxiety, fear, anger and other amplified, negative emotional states can short circuit an otherwise open, flowing process.  Therapy can help move you in to a place of choice, so that you can avoid short circuiting. You replace self-limiting beliefs and gain access to positive, helpful thoughts, words and actions.  You make more good choices more often so that, to some extent like brushing your teeth, the positive thinking becomes automatic.  The short circuits dissolve and clear the way for meditative, subconscious clarity to surface.

It seems to me, from everything I have learned at this point in time, including the past 27 years of intensive study, research and practice of psychotherapy, that all methods of therapy are ways of clearing up your circuitry and shining light into the darkness, thus helping you lighten up. Processes such as meditation and hypnosis help you function at a more relaxed, calm level.  You brain waves slow down allowing more clarity and ability to choose wisely.

Good rapport with your therapist builds trust, which allows you to feel relaxed, calm and comfortable so that you feel safe giving and receiving information.  In my work I help bring forth your strengths to use as building blocks in our re-creation.

The therapeutic process is one of discovery. Therapy helps you gain access to what you know, but don’t know you know. The most delightful learning is when you say to yourself, “I knew that. That’s what I am doing.”  You notice that often your intuition has been telling you the truth.  “Isn’t that wonderful.  I’m right on!”

Therapy helps free you so that you can create, love, work, and inter-relate in ways that make you and those around you feel good.   You will still make mistakes, and have ups and downs, but you will be able to let go faster, learn the lessons, be good to yourself, and experience more joy!

Therapy holds a key to freeing your brain from self perpetuated negative thoughts.

One of the most enduring and helpful psychological tips I ever learned was in the ‘60s from my therapist Albert Ellis.  I went to see Ellis at his Institute for Rational Emotive Therapy (RET), the first of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapies (CBT), in Manhattan in 1967.  I was feeling so overwhelmed by anxiety that the first words out of my mouth were “I think I need to be institutionalized”.  His response: “So?”  I laughed with relief.  He sent me home with his book, A Guide to Rational Living, first published in 1961, which changed my thinking forever.

Example of how our inner voice perpetuates emotional states:

Did you ever notice how children who get a cut for example cry and cry, only to return to their former play within minutes?  Sometimes a hug and a compassionate “that must hurt” helps. We, “grownups” on the other hand keep re-telling the event to ourselves and others, thus perpetuating the upset.

Sharing our stories about the bumps and bruises of every day life may help us debrief, make sense of, and integrate the experience in to our larger life story.  On the other hand repeating a traumatic story may re-traumatize us, perpetuate the hurt and throw us out of balance longer than is helpful.

The point is we have a constant, often unconscious internal thoughts streaming through our minds.  The thoughts become habitual, and literally form patterns in our brains – Thus, “neurons that fire together wire together”, the motto of the new neuroscience, actually a quote from Hebbs, 1949.

One of the main advantages of mindfulness meditation is to help us become conscious of our thoughts.  Once aware we have choices.  Here’s one I’m training myself out of.  Thoughts about war.  My internal dialogue/monologue can develop on the topic and cause anger, despair, and result in a generally uncomfortable, unhealthy feeling.  As soon as I notice the war CD starting to play in my head, I stop.  I picture a Stop sign, (learned that from an elementary school boy I was helping deal with anger), colorful mandala, and pictures around the house.  When Albert Ellis first taught me to notice my thoughts, I was sometimes so overwhelmed I would say, “Mary had a little lamb….” It works!    You’ve thrown a monkey wrench in to the thought pattern.

We have expectations and a sense of fairness.  More positively ask yourself: How can I implement this in my life?  Where in my life am I out of integrity with myself?  What am I not doing that I want myself to do?  Can I trust myself?  Am I trustworthy?

Therapy can help you recognize and transform harmful thoughts, which are causing anxiety, depression, grief, anger and other negative emotional states. You can move in to a position of choice and experience more positive emotional states, a happier you attracting happier energy.

When you are feeling anxious, angry, distressed, or other negative states, how can you be the change you wish to see in your world?

It may not be as hard as you think. Therapy can help!

People talk about generating the feeling inside yourself of where you want to be as a way to help yourself get there. Where in your life even for a moment, do you feel that positive feeling? In that moment the anxiety, frustration, anger, or fear is not with you. You have a feeling of expectation that something good is going to happen.

Maybe for you it takes something more serious than blowing dandelion petals away, or finding a heads up penny. The point is you experience a feeling of positive expectation, even if only for that moment.

Good therapy helps you see clearly and have the freedom and ability to transform in the ways you prefer. Your heart and mind become harmonious. You move from a current unpleasant state to feeling better. The petals of negative emotions float away.

Therapy can help you create a positive state in more and more of your life. The energy you generate generates the energy around you, which attracts like energy and creates a life you love.

Together in therapy we can discover and dissolve obstacles keeping you from being/feeling your personal best, develop clarity, and give you tools to enhance and maintain your happiness and your relationships with others.

What is a great way to stress less?  Gather in the presence of others who share common interests. Pacific Palisades, a slightly remote corner of Los Angeles, between Santa Monica and Malibu is losing a little bookstore which as been a gathering place for community, a place for warm bodies to get together in an atmosphere which fosters positive interaction.  We are emotional, socially driven mammals who benefit from positive, personal interaction. As more and more of our ability to safely and easily mingle with other people disappears, our STRESS levels increase.

The closing of Village Books, is a sign of the times.  Going in to say our goodbyes, many of us could not hold back tears.  This is going on everywhere.

The Internet is an amazing resource, but keep your eyes open for opportunities to be part of live, face-to-face communities.  Become conscious of the communities you are already in – your gym, your work, and school.  Look for people who share common interests.  We need to nurture and encourage positive, healthy, social interaction.

Would you like to stress less right now?  Treat yourself to a 6-minute guided meditation.  The acronym for this exercise is P.I.E.

• Precision
  Notice the breath or sensation in the body as precisely as possible.
• Impermanence
  Change is always happening. Even a solid sensation such as pain is impermanent.
• Equanimity
  No judgment – no right or wrong, good or bad.

Download the 6-minute P.I.E. guided meditation (pie-meditation.m4a)

“Mindfulness” is a word you may know a lot or a little about. Just one click on the title of this new book, The Mindfulness Revolution: Leading Psychologists, Scientists, Artists, and Meditation Teachers on the Power of Mindfulness in Daily Life will put you at the heart of the mindfulness matter.

This essay collection describes mindful attention and how it can be applied to such diverse aspects of life as parenting, trauma recovery, money, illness, relationships, and the like.
— Publishers Weekly

If you were to read one book on Mindfulness, I’d recommend The Mindfulness Revolution. Each of the forty essays on a vast range of topics can be read in a short amount of time, and may give you a brief therapy session on the spot. Plus the book provides resources and a bit on each contributor. I have found each essay to be soothing, nourishing, and enlightening for the mind, body and soul, and wish you the same.

The Power of Boundless Compassion
by Gregory Boyle

William Blake wrote, “We are put on earth for a little space that we might learn to bear the beams of love.”

Father Boyle, Founder of Homeboy Industries, adds, “Turns out this is what we all have in common, gang member and non-gang member alike: we’re just trying to learn how to bear the beams of love.” (p. xiii).

If you have ever had trouble loving yourself or others, inspiration for expanding our capacity for unconditional love fills the pages of Tattoos on the Heart, The Power of Boundless Compassion.

One of the bravest, most humane, heartbreaking, brilliant, and hopeful stories I’ve read in ages.  Father Greg, the Gandhi of the Gangs, fills Tattoos with unquenchable soul force and down-to-earth love.
— Jack Kornfield, Author of A Path with Heart

In Tattoos on the Heart, Father Boyle (called “G” by his “homies”), tells story after story of gang members who against all odds came to know and love themselves, and establish productive lives, sometimes even then to be stopped by a bullet.  At a funeral a parishioner asks Father G, “…what’s the point?”

Father G: “It was a good question, worthy of a response. I told that packed church that Luis was a human being who came to know the truth about himself and liked what he found there.”

Read the NPR Fresh Air interview with Father Boyle.

For me the message is that only we can hone our ability to stay in a place of love.  Only we can further develop our capacity to love ourselves and to love one and other.

Mark Torres, S.J., beloved spiritual guide at Homeboy Industries says, “We see in the homies what they don’t see in themselves, until they do.” (p. 178)

I cannot more highly recommend this compelling read — Tattoos on the Heart is one of my all time favorites!

A Whole New Mind, Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future
— Daniel H. Pink

As a dominantly right-brainer who has struggled to be more left brain to satisfy the conditions of society, I was thrilled to read this testimony to the future of right brain thinking.

A breezy, good-humored read . . . For those wishing to give their own creative muscles a workout, the book is full of exercises and resources.
— Harvard Business Review

The Compassionate Life, Walking the Path of Kindness
— Marc Ian Barasch

This book is well-written, easy to read and makes a compelling case for getting along.  Indeed many of today’s influential thinkers, and scientific findings tell us that our salvation will be according to our ability to get along, which requires empathy.  This book will motivate and encourage you to be the empathic being you are designed to be.

An essential guide for anyone who cares deeply about the human condition, and how we can help each other through with love and guts.
— Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence

Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom
— Rick Hanson, PH.D. with Richard Mendius, MD.

This is one of my favorite books because it combines knowledge and insights from Mendius, a neurologist, and Hanson a neuropsychologist, and has a forward and preface by two favorite mentors, Dan Siegel MD, and Jack Kornfield PH.D.

You will be introduced to wise new perspectives on life and the biological bases for fostering the development of wisdom.  These chapters will help you better understand the workings of the mind and the neurological roots of happiness, empathy, and interdependence.
— Jack Kornfield PH.D.

Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life
— Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

I have studied Non-Violent Communication on my own and through workshops and presentations.  It was not until I listened to the audio CD of Speaking Peace that I really began to understand these important ideas and methods of communication.

I believe the principles and techniques in this book can literally change the world, but more importantly, they can change the quality of your life with your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your co-workers and everyone else you interact with.  I cannot recommend it highly enough.
— Jack Canfield, Author of Chicken Soup for the Soul series

New Insights Into the Body/Mind Connection

By Candace Pert

We often hear about the mind body connection. From what I’ve learned, I believe the there can be no possible disconnection. I recently listened on CD to Scientist Candace Pert’s audio book, Your Body is Your Subconscious Mind.

Click on the CD image to the right or the link above and scroll down the page to hear a sample and read the description. I, and probably many of us, have pictured cells in our brains as different from other cells in the body. Pert helps us understand how truly interconnected the mind and the body are, giving new meaning to the expressions “gut feeling”, “heart felt”, and “it sends shivers down my spine”.

Pert says the difference between man and other animals is that human beings can choose where to place their attention. To know how our feeling and thoughts inter-relate gives us more power to choose where to place our attention, so that we’re better able to promote our desired behaviors.